


The Prince's Thief

by silverneko9lives0



Series: Sanzeuh Kumathelh [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Aladdin, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Soul Bond, possible ooc, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-01-23 21:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1579796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverneko9lives0/pseuds/silverneko9lives0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nori finds his one in Kili, but how does one go about winning the heart of a prince who is tired of unwanted suitors? </p><p>mentions of mpreg/Kili is a bearer</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I slid into the house through Ori’s window and loosened the straps of my bag before heading downstairs for dinner. Ori welcomed me with a hug while Dori eyed the bag suspiciously.

“Nori, what is that?”

“The rent,” I say, setting it down on my chair. “Is that a problem?”

Dori closed his eyes, reining in his anger, and turned back to the stove where he cooked tonight’s dinner—fish and some bread loaves.

When we have a little extra, sometimes we can buy potatoes for chips. Dori makes the _best_ chips. Personally, though, I prefer crackers or bread wafers. Ori’s the chip lover in the family. Dori…honestly, I think he’s too much of a tight ass to really like a snack.

He loves his tea, so maybe he’s a biscuit kind of Dwarf.

“And who is our kind benefactor this time?” Dori asked, setting a plate of fish in front of me.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” I said, smirking at him. If my job wasn’t so successful, I think Dori would just disown me. Or ignore my presence while letting me stay around on Ori’s behalf. I always rub it into Dori’s face that I’m our baby brother’s favorite since Dori doesn’t know how to have fun.

Dori just says that someone needs to be the tight ass. (Actually he says the “responsible” one, but if he’s as responsible as he claims, then why is it that _my_ job is what pays for our home, food, and clothes? Besides, I might not be the sole breadwinner in the Ri house sooner or later. Ori’s gotten his apprenticeship for scrivening. The kid’s got talent with a quill.)

“Thanks for dinner, Dori,” Ori said.

“Thanks,” I parrot, sinking my teeth into a bread roll.

“You’re welcome,” Dori says. He barely sits down when there is a knock at the door. He looks at me darkly.

_You were followed?_

I send him an incredulous glare. _Please, I’m never followed_.

I stood, taking the bag and hid it in the loose floorboard under the rug next to the hearth while Dori answered the door.

“Good evening, Master Dwalin.”

I groan and grab Ori’s arm. “Go upstairs and stay there.”

“You just hate that I like him.”

“He’s trying to bust my ass. You _really_ want to lose our only income right now?”

“You could get a more honest career,” he hissed back. I roll my eyes and jab my finger up the stairs. Ori stuck his tongue at me and ran up the stairs to his room.

I stand straight, crossing my arms over my chest and turning to face Dwalin as he strolls into the room. The history he and I have ranges from full out hatred to mutual dislike. There are days when he’s after me for a robbery and other times he’s buying information from me to solve a crime. We don’t get along, but we accept each other’s existence.

“Good evening, Dwalin,” I say, smirking at him. “I didn’t know Dori invited you to dinner.”

“Enough joking, Nori. Where is it?”

I furrow my brow. “Where’s…what? I’m afraid I’ve _no_ idea what you’re talking about, Dwalin. I’ve been home all day.”

“Oh, so you’re telling me that you’re neighbor _didn’t_ mistake you for a thief sneaking into your own house?”

“I always sneak into my own house,” I say, my smirk widening. “It’s quite fun once you figure out the landing. You should try it some time.”

“You came in with a satchel.”

“I don’t own a satchel.”

“A tartan one. With a red bird painted on the flap.”

“Interesting,” I said, scratching my chin. “Sounds like one I’d like. Still don’t actually _own_ one. Especially not a _tartan_ one with a red bird painted on its flap. That sounds classy.”

Dwalin ignored me, walking through the room, searching for the bag. I let him look around, scratching my chin.

“You know, Dwalin,” I began, “If you’re here to see Ori, you could just _say_ so.” He turned to me, eyes flashing. “You don’t have to lie to us.”

He snarls at me to hide the blush.

Dwalin and Ori.

Poor bloke has been _waiting_ _so long_ for Ori to come of age. Which was a year ago. And if not for me and Dori, we’re both sure that Dwalin would have stolen him away by now. Dwalin’s not a bad guy. I know he’d take excellent care of my brother. But he’s also tolerantly intolerant of _my_ profession.

At least on the outside.

Can’t let the head of the King’s Guard know he sometimes works alongside the King of Thieves, right? Of course not! That could ruin us _both_. It’d be dreadful if I were to lose my reputation among Ered Luin’s underground if they were to find out I occasionally help the _Law_.

The Law’s flawed after all. The king’s justice is not as good as _my_ justice. Thorin Oakenshield can’t guarantee justice all the time. I, on the other hand, can and do.

Dwalin sighed, a trace of disappointment on his face. “Thank you for your cooperation, Dori.”

“Of course, Master Dwalin.” Dori led him to the door and he disappeared into the darkness. Dori closed the door and sighed. “Nori, this _needs_ to end!”

“How else will we pay the Old Codger, huh? If not for what I do, we’d be on the streets! Would you be so high and mighty then?”

“You are _more_ than capable of providing for this family in any other way,” Dori insisted.

“Who would hire me?” I asked. “I’m a thief—the _king_ of thieves, Dori. No. No one is going to hire me. I’m not trusted. Anyone willing to employ me would only need to ask the guards and anyone who knows me or have stolen from. My rap sheets _long_ , Brother. Honest work is _not_ going to cut it for me.”

Dori sighed, massaging his head.

“We keep having this argument, but I keep telling you it’s not going to happen. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can accept _who I am_.”

Ori rapped his knuckles on the wall. “If you two are going to fight,” he said, “can I at least eat dinner while its still hot so I watch you two rip each other to shreds?”

 I turn to him, frowning. “I worry about you sometimes.”

“It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t mean it literally!”

_Three Days Later_

I upturned a cart of silks from the east, blocking the guards place. Dwalin barked orders at them as I put more distance between this.

It’s just a silver brooch.

It’s not even the most I’ve stolen in a given time. Honestly, I just want to get Ori a congratulations gift for tonight! He made his apprenticeship yesterday, so Dori and I are throwing him a party.

Now is that really the work of a malevolent thief?

No. I didn’t think so.

I slid into an alley, letting the guards run by me. Once they had gone, I left through the other side of the alley to see a crowd gathering around the street.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“A new suitor for Prince Kili,” the baker said. “This time it is Lord Borgin son of Brond.”

I look at the Dwarf. He is finely dressed in Easterling silks, his beard is nearly as immaculate as Dori’s and black as onyx. A scimitar is strapped to his back and a leather whip to his waist. His eyes are black and filled with a darkness I can’t even begin to describe. He came with two guards, their faces hidden.

I don’t know much about the King, but I get the feeling he wouldn’t want this Orc’s son near his nephew.

Two children ran into the street in front him and his men to fetch a ball which escaped their notice. One of the guards seized the youngest of the two, shaking him while the other tried to rescue her brother.

I took one of my knives, pushing through the crowd, and tossed it at the guard, hitting the wrist. He dropped the boy, screaming. The children ran into the crowd and I try to do the same. Dwalin’s guards are searching the crowd. Seeing them caused me to hesitate and I’m caught by Borgin’s men and dragged to my feet as Lord Borgin approached me, his whip in hand.

“You’ve a lot of nerve attacking me, Peasant.”

“Says a bastard that attack bairns,” I said, spitting at his feet. I won’t bother correcting him. Some nobs see an attack on their guard as an attack on their own person. Speaks for loyalty, I suppose. I’m forced to my feet and pulled into the center of the street, my tunic ripped off.

The brooch fell from a pocket. Borgin lauged. “Not just a peasant, but a thief as well,” he said, picking up the brooch. “Not even a good one, either. There are a few impurities here. Did you notice that, Thief?”

I tried to pull out of the guards’ grasp. One thing I wish I had that Dori does is his strength. Sadly, all I’ve got is my self-righteousness.

Borgin crushed the brooch under his feet and circled around me dragging his whip behind him like a snake. I relax, breathing heavily. The first sting of the whip makes me tense from the pain and I force myself to relax again before the next snap of his whip welts my back.

Where is Dwalin? He has to have reached here by now, so why isn’t he stopping this?! The bastard would do anything to keep Ori happy, after all.

The tenth snap against my back is the last. I’m released, laid in the dirt as Borgin and his guards pass by me.

“I hope you rot,” I mutter, trying to stand. I’m pulled to my feet and pulled off the street.

“C’mon,” Dwalin said. “I’ll take you home.”

“Where in Mordor were you?” I snarl.

“Well, I couldn’t exactly let you get away with stealing again, could I. Besides, I was blocked in. Still, you didn’t deserve that. At the same time, he’s a guest of the king.”

“Prince Kili better turn him away. He’s bad news.”

Dwalin barked a laugh. “The prince,” he said, “has not chosen a suitor yet. I doubt Borgin’s going to get a word in before Kili kicks him to the curb. It’s making the king’s hair grey prematurely.”

I snort. “That’ll be a glorious sight. Wait,” I look at him. “You’re taking me home?”

“Aye. I think you’re dignity’s busted enough.”

“It wasn’t my dignity that was destroyed there: it was his. He was going to hurt a pair of kids, Dwalin. _Bairns_. All because their toy got away from them and in his path! Is that _logical_ to you?”

“No. But since when are most nobs logical?”

“You are. Kind of.”

“He whipped you too hard, didn’t he?”

“Did I compliment you?”

“You did.”

“Then yes.”


	2. Chapter 2

 I bumped into the Dwarf and walked on, ignoring his shouts of protest, and slid into an alley when I’m sure he turned back to his friends. I pocket his purse in my new—damn neighbors tattling on me to Dwalin—bag and head out onto the next street, hiding in the crowd and getting run into.

“Oh! Sorry,” the lad said, pulling his hood further down his face.

He’s a bit tall, for a Dwarf, but has that build that Ori has, marking him possibly just coming of age or barely surpassed it. He wore a leather fur lined coat, and of what I could see of his face his beard was roughly shaved. Which was odd—not many Dwarves willingly shaved, but if they did, it was usually part of their profession.  

Such as an archer.

A bead at the end of one long braid draped over shoulder named him a bearer.

But none added to the oddity such as the feeling I got when we collided.

It feels like being tied with a rope around your waist and pulled so you don’t have much choice but to follow even though you could easily untie the rope and escape.

It also felt like familiarity. The kind where you’re surrounded by family. A comfortable familiarity.

The bearer walked around me and continued on his way. I watched for a moment before shrugging it off and heading on my way.

 It would be best to get home and let Dori go buy dinner, relaxing by the fire as Ori gushes about working at the Grand Library and having a smoke…

It was a good plan until a sense of fear gripped me.

The rope tugged on me, tightening around my torso and cutting off my airflow. I turned around and ran, unsure where the rope is leading me to.

“Get off me!” 

I enter an alleyway.

The boy who ran into me is pinned against the wall by three Dwarves.

“Lad’s got some bark,” One said, pinching his cheeks. “Has all his teeth too.”

“He’d earn us more with a beard on him. Damn archers.”

The boy snapped his jaws and slammed his foot into one of the slavers.

I pull a knife out and throw it, hitting one of them in the shoulder. He screams and they turn toward me. “N-Nori…” The second slaver said as I retrieved another knife. “We…we were just…”

“Looks to me like you got caught up in dealing with Men,” I say. “As they are the only race around despicable enough to trade in Being-labor. Other than Orcs.”

“Sir, it’s not…not like that.”

“If I were you,” I say, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and flicking the blade of my knife across his cheek. “I’d leave Ered Luin. Now. Before I send my lads to dispatch you personally. I don’t tolerate slavers. But I’ll let you go. If you return however,” I cut his cheek and he whimpered. “I’ll kill you without hesitation. Are we agreed?”

“Yes, Sir.”

I let him go and the trio ran.

“I could have handled it myself,” the Dwarf snapped.

“Well, that’s gratitude for you,” I mumble, turning to him.

The feeling I felt before returned. His eyes are honey brown and he has a broad forehead. There aren’t many decorations on his hair or piercings, supporting my previous theory that he was young. His hair is dark brown and unkempt. Exempting the one braid.

I feel an urge to hold him close. To touch, to pet, to bed…

All controlled, of course, but still quite there and making me aware of the lad’s presence.

They’re feelings Ori told me about when he first met Dwalin.

From the way the lad’s irritation in his eyes disappear to shock, I guessed he knows these feelings too.

“I…suppose I should just thank you,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shifting his gaze to the ground, probably hoping I won’t notice the pink hue of his cheeks. “So thanks. I don’t know if I would have been able to hold them off on my own.”

“Well, you may have guessed,” I said, “But I’m Nori, son of Riika.” I held my hand out to him and he stares at it.

“Ki-Kífur, son of Endur,” he said. I chuckle, wondering what to do next.

“You look a little peaky,” I say. He glares at me, but his stomach growling lessens the impact considerably. “How about I get you something to eat.”

“I suppose so,” he said, following me out of the alley and to the nearest pub. He pulls his hood up again.

“So, Kífur,” I say, “What brings you to this part of the city?”

“I ran away from home,” he said, fingers running over his bead. “My uncle is trying to marry me off. But no one he brought before me has caught my interest and they’re all horrible in some way or other. Whether from being too handsy or bad hygiene or…you get the idea.”

“Aye,” I say, trying not to wince. “I can’t blame you for that.”

“In addition, I’m positive that I have a Sanzeuh somewhere, but my uncle won’t let me find them.”

“And that’s why you ran away?”

“Yes.”

I held the door open for Kífur, letting him walk inside. A scent of cinnamon wafted past my nose and I couldn’t tell if it was from the boy or something inside the pub.

I got them a table hidden in the corner, recognizing Kífur’s desire for secrecy. Kífur let his hood drop down and he stared at the table, gloved hands resting above it. They were fingerless gloves like Ori’s, but made of leather. I ordered two pork roasts and some ale for them.

The girl went to get their drinks and returned within minutes.

Once the girl had gone, I turned to Kífur.

“Are you all right?”

Kífur nodded. “I just feel a little strange. It’s like a fire’s been ignited in my body being near you. But it doesn’t _act_ like a proper fire. Does that make sense?”

“It does. It also feels like you’re lassoed tight and helpless in being pulled wherever the rope goes.” Kífur nodded, his fingers touching mine, calluses gently scraping against the faint scars on my hand. “But not in a…a bad way.”

“Right,” Kífur said, looking up at me. “Not bad at all.”

He pulled his hand away when the girl returned, setting food down in front of us. I thanked her and turned to their food. Kífur had already torn into the pork. I grinned.

“Hungrier than you let on?” I teased.

Kífur blushed again and slowed his eating, chewing methodically.

 _Well done, Nori_ , I berated myself, tearing into the bread. _Had to open your mouth, did you?_

The rest of the meal passed on in an awkward silence until I moved my hand to Kífur’s, taking it in mine and gave it a light squeeze. Kífur stared at our joined hands and I kissed Kífur’s. If what I felt was real, then I don’t see any reason for reservations.

True, I believe the lad deserved to be courted, but at the same time, if we were each other’s Sanzeuh, why bother with the rituals?

I lowered our hands, pulling Kífur close to me and pressing our lips together. Kífur gripped my jacket in his fists, neither pushing nor pulling. I rubbed circles into his back and Kífur sighed, relaxing significantly in my arms.

The doors opened and the guards swarmed in. Kífur pulled away, pulling his hood over his head and facing the window.

“Kífur?”

“I’m fine,” he said, voice trembling.

“ _Âzyungel,_ it’ll be okay. They don’t mean any harm,” I said, squeezing his shoulder. Still, Kífur didn’t turn around.

“Nori.”

I looked at Dwalin, glaring. “Hello, Dwalin. What? Is it illegal to have a sit down meal?”

“Who’s your friend?”

“No one you need concern yourself with.”

“Nori, this is no time for your jokes. Who is he?”

“What’s it to you?”

Dwalin seized me, pulling me out of the booth and tossing me to some others, grabbing Kífur’s arm and yanking him out and lowering the hood.

Kífur struggled against Dwalin’s grasp, demanding to be released. I tried to yank out of the guards’ grip so to aid him. Kífur slammed his steel toed boot into Dwalin’s shin, Dwalin shouted, his grip loosened and Kífur ran for the door, two more guards lunged at him, seizing him.

“Kili! That’s enough!” Dwalin roared. Kífur stilled, bowing his head. “It’s time to go home. You’re uncle’s worried.”

“Kili?” I repeated, my breath caught in my throat. “ _Prince_ Kili?”

Kífur— _Kili_ winced, refusing to look at me. That hurt more than the deception. Oh, I understand it, but I’m a bit hurt he didn’t trust me with this information. I could have helped him hide better. Or something…I don’t know.

It still hurt more that he wouldn’t look at me now.

“I didn’t mean to deceive you,” he said. “I’m sorry, Nori.”

I tried to pull out of the guard’s grasp again.

“Dwalin, let the lad go. It’s not like he committed any crime.” Dwalin looked at me. “You can’t just drag the lad home when he doesn’t _want_ to go back—”

“You’d do well to remember your place, Nori,” Dwalin growled. “You’re a _thief_. A liar. Scum unfit to lick the prince’s boots.”

I glared at him, my heart twisting as though hands had grabbed it and squeezed.

I ignored the pain.

“That, I think, is for _him_ to decide,” I say. “Don’t you think?”

Dwalin ignored me. “Take the prince home. Throw _this_ low life out.”

The guards drag me to the door, tossing me into the street. Kili tried to break away from his guards, but they pulled him back. My hands shook, nails scratched the rock beneath me. I couldn’t let Kili see me so furious. I didn’t want him to think I was mad at him when I’m not.

Dwalin approached me, pulling me up and patting me down. He found the purse I snatched earlier.

“Like I said,” he growled, tossing the purse to another guard. “Scum.” My hands were bound behind me and I was escorted to the guard-house.

Three hours later, I exit the jail and head toward one of the hidden exits out of Ered Luin. I’ll have to keep out of sight for a while. I’m worried about my brothers, but I know they’ll manage while I’m gone with Ori’s new job and all. I just hope that’ll be enough.

Outside where the world is draped in the dark, starry sky, I lean against a tree and stare at the mountain pass. It’s really just my luck, isn’t it? Of course my Sanzeuh would be the sister-son of Thorin son of Thrain son of Thror. Why wouldn’t it be anyone attainable?


	3. Chapter 3

I sat at in a boisterous pub filled with Men, Elves, Dwarves, and the rare adventurous Hobbit, staring at the half empty mug of ale as though it could tell me what to do once he drank the rest of its contents…If I ever got around to it. Because every time my mind wandered it went to a shaggy mane of hair waiting to be tamed with my braids and deep brown eyes to drown in and pouting lips needing to be kissed…

_Nori, stop it!_

I groaned, laying my head on the table. Is _this_ what it feels when you can’t be near your Sanzeuh? If so, then I have to wonder how Ori and Dwalin do it. To add, there can’t be many _thieves_ who can say that their Sanzeuh is a _prince_.

“What could bring a Dwarf down so low to seek solace in a pub such as this?” I look up at the old Man. He is grey haired and grey robed.

“Stuff it,” I snarl. “Whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.”

“Who said I was selling anything?” he asked. “All I see is a Dwarf _moping_ in an Elven town. That doesn’t strike you as strange?” I glared at him until he arched an eyebrow at me.

I stared at the mug in my hand. “I found my Sanzeuh.”

“That is a happy occasion.”

“It would be—should be. But he’s an heir-son of Thorin Oakenshield.”

“Kili?” I nod. The man hummed. “I had told Thorin that it would be better to let Kili find his One—find _you_. He would not listen.”

“I have to wonder why that is. I’m a thief. Perhaps Thorin guessed I was… _unworthy_ to even _lick_ the prince’s boots.”

“Then prove yourself!”

I stare at him. “Were you even listening: I’m a _thief_ —”

“And that should stop you from being with your prince? Shouldn’t _he_ be the one to say if you are worthy or not?”

“It doesn’t seem like he’ll be allowed to decide for himself.”

“But Thorin _is_ letting him decide for himself,” the man said. “Only another noble can vie for the prince’s hand and that is _exactly_ what you will become.”

I laugh. “You can make me a noble?”

“You doubt me?”

“Well, you’ve not given me a reason to trust you!”

“ _Try_.”

I glare at him. The old man seems quite confident. “Fine,” I say. “We’ll try it your way.” I held my hand out to him. “I am Nori.”

“And I am Gandalf,” the man said. I furrow my brow.

“Gandalf? The _wizard_ Gandalf?”

“Who else would I be?”

I smirk. “Well,” I say, “This’ll be interesting.”

“Agreed. I will help you get your prince, and _I_ will have a show to watch. It’ll be interesting indeed to watch you prove your worth.”

“You’re planning to leave and hang me dry?”

“Of course not! I will intercede if I need to but most of the work must be yours.” I nod. I can live with that. “Now, when would you like to begin?”

“Now.”

“Then you best start with a bath.”

I stare at the mug. Get sober and clean. Right.

#

I feel as though I’ve betrayed everything I stand for right now. _Everything_. My hair has been changed from the signature peaks to an array of braids exampling class, education, and skills on the top of my head and in my beard. At least I can take pride of its length as my beard comes to my waist, as does my hair. A mace is strapped to my back, keeping a black cloak from fluttering behind me.

Gandalf walks beside me, whispering bits of advice—if I call it “instruction,” I might punch the dratted wizard and rob him blind—for what to do in the presence of Thorin Oakenshield. The King’s Guard open the doors for us and Gandalf’s arrival is announced.

Thorin Oakenshield greets us. He is taller than Kili and can easily pass as a small Man. He greets Gandalf warily and his cold, blue eyes settle on me. I bow at the waist.

“Who is this?”

“A friend from a distant Eastern realm,” Gandalf said. “He has come to ask for Prince Kili’s hand.”

I straighten. “It is an honor to meet you, King Thorin,” I say. “I am Gudrun son of Mundri.”

“I was unaware that Kili had been heard of so far to the east,” Thorin said, fixing me with a dark glare.

“I admit he has not. Gandalf is a friend of my family’s as well as yours and the Line of Durin is famous to _all_ Dwarves. Gandalf had told me much about your nephew and I heard he had not yet chosen a husband, so I thought I might try. With your permission, of course, Good King.”

I feel dirty.

Thorin circles around me like a predator would its prey. It’s a miracle anyone got past _him_. Thorin sniffs and waves for a servant to lead us to rooms.

While I’m led down the hall, I sense eyes on me, burning like fire. I turn toward them and see Kili. With his brow furrowed and lips pressed into a frown, he resembles his uncle. He walks away. I want to go after him and tell him it’s me. To see his mischievous smile light his face and for those eyes to sparkle again rather than see him mime his uncle and brood…

I don’t, deciding it would be wiser to keep to Gandalf’s plan. But if it goes south, I’m breaking away from it and telling him.

We are told to join Thorin and his family and other guests for dinner.

“Guests?”

The servant nods. “Lord Borgin and Lord Ulfar,” she sighs. “They’re also trying to win the prince’s hand, but he’s been quite stubborn about the whole thing! Even ran away a few days ago. Poor lad.”

She leaves and I remove the cloak and collapse on the bed. How am I going to get him to recognize me?

#

It is hard not to remember Borgin, who sneers at me. He doesn’t recognize me, which is good. As far as he’s concerned, I’m just another rival. Which is true, but not in the way he thinks.

Ulfar is about Kili’s age and has a cheeky attitude about him. His blond hair is pulled pulled into several braids that becomes one long seven strand rope down his back.

Show off.

Thorin enters with his heirs. The blond I know is Fili, Kili’s elder brother. He doesn’t seem any happier than Kili is by our presence. There is a sword strapped to his waist and his fingers curl around the hilt as though they itch to pull it free and cut us down. Kili holds his head high, fixing each of us with a cold glare. He is dressed the same as his uncle and brother are: blue fabric lined with a wolf’s pelt. Thorin’s pelt is silver and grey. Same as Fili’s. But Kili’s is black. His hair is as untamed as it was when we met, and his braid is hidden among the mane.

The rope around my middle pulls on me and I have a feeling of restrained hostility bubbling inside me: Kili is angry. Likely he is unimpressed.

The three of us suitors bow before them. Ulfar approaches Kili first.

“You look resplendent tonight, your highness,” he drawls, kissing Kili’s hand. My hands curl into fists and my nails dig into the palms of my hands. I want to rip him apart. The hostility increases and mingles with disgust and it’s all I can do to keep from smiling.

Kili pulls his hand free from Ulfar. “Thank you,” he said, voice tight. His eyes ghost over Borgin and fix on me. I bow again.

“It is the greatest honor to meet you, Prince Kili,” I say.

He grits his teeth and turns on Thorin. “Another one?” he snaps.

“Kili,” Thorin sighs.

“ _No_! I’ve had it! I don’t care who they are or where they come from! They treat me like some _prized pony_ rather than an equal!”

“ _Atkât!_ ” Thorin bellowed.

Kili snarled at his uncle and left. Thorin sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and apologizes to us on Kili’s behalf. Borgin remains silent and Ulfar waves it off. A suck up as well as a show off. Okay, my usual hairstyle’s just as showy, but at least it makes people think twice about crossing me and gives them an impression of a crown.

Kili doesn’t return and the rope pulls on me. I want to follow, but it’ll have to wait…

Finally the meal is over and we bid the king goodnight. I follow the pull, letting it guide me to Kili. He is hiding in a dark corner, his knees pulled up to his chin and face hidden between them.

“Your highness?” He gasps, jumping up and pulling a dagger free. I raise my hands. “Peace! Peace! I did not mean to startle you!”

“Leave,” Kili snarled. “Whatever it is you want to say, I’m not—”

“I do not mean to encroach on you,” I say. “Nor do I see a ‘prized pony.’ You’re a warrior, I bet. As am I…I do not know about the other two, but…”

He slowly lowers the dagger.

“I know this situation isn’t fair to you,” I continue. “Nor do I think it is right. I just wanted you to know that and that I am sorry you feel cheated out of being with your Sanzeuh…I get the feeling you have one? A Sanzeuh, I mean.”

“Yes,” he said. “But it’s not likely to come to anything.”

“Why not?”

Kili silences, chewing his lip. “It’s complicated.”

“He’s a peasant?”

“A…he’s a thief.” I hum, crossing my arms. “There’s _no way_ my uncle will accept that. He’s likely to pick one of you to sell me to if he knew. He’ll probably do it anyway.”

“I don’t think your uncle means any harm.”

Kili turned to me. “What?”

“He doesn’t mean any harm,” I repeat. Kili stares at me. I clear my throat. “You know what? How about I help you sneak out to meet him?”

“That won’t be easy. He isn’t at the guard’s house. I’ve looked all ready. I think he might have left…”

“Well maybe he’s come back while you weren’t looking.”

“Maybe,” Kili sighed.

I held my hand out to him. “Shall we go look?”

He stared at it then shifted his gaze to me. “Sure.” He didn’t take my hand, sheathing the dagger and showed me to a passage that led outside the palace.

I wonder how long I’ll be able to keep up the charade.


	4. Chapter 4

We “search” for an hour, heading to my usual haunts with our cloaks pulled over our heads to hide our faces from the crowd. I get him something to eat, impressed at how much he manages to pack down. He did miss dinner. He must have been starving.

It’s near midnight when he decides to give up.

“We can try again another night,” I suggest.

“I don’t think that would matter,” he said, leaning against a wall. “Since you _are_ him.”

“What?”

Kili narrowed his eyes, frowning. Goodness he looks like his uncle far too much! “Don’t treat me like an idiot, Nori,” he snapped. “I know it’s you.”

“I…well…” I scratch the back of my head. “What gave me away?”

“The way you said ‘harm.’ Almost comes out like ‘hairm.’ Very distinctive.” Kid’s smarter than he let on. Kili crossed his arms. “Why did you disguise yourself? Or is Gudrun who you really are?” He almost looks hopeful at that and it almost hurts to crush it.

“No, my name is Nori. I just…I needed to see you again, but I…”

“You couldn’t. I understand. And you…you are a thief?”

“King of Thieves,” I say, bowing. I straighten. “You aren’t upset?”

“Well, you being a thief actually complicates things in a way it wouldn’t if you really were a noble, but I think I prefer it. Now that I know it’s you, I’m actually rather happy that you came back. Where did you go?”

“So you did go looking for me?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I was going to pay your bail except you had already escaped, I guess. Dwalin was _pissed_.”

“About me escaping or you coming to bail me out?” I ask. “He was quite clear about what he thought about me and you…”

“It’s not his place any more than it is my uncle’s,” Kili said, placing his hands on my waist. “I will decide who is worthy of kissing my boots or not. And I’d rather you kiss my lips, personally.” I grinned, my hand gripping the back of Kili’s neck and pulling him down for a kiss. I tangled my fingers in Kili’s hair.

I pushed him into the wall, shoving my tongue into Kili’s mouth when he gasped. I ground my hips against Kili’s, relishing the slight trembling encompassing my Sanzeuh as our cocks rubbed together.

I broke the kiss, nipping at Kili’s neck with my teeth and slid my hands down to Kili’s behind, squeezing the flesh and grinning when Kili yelped. I usually wouldn't deflower virgins, but I knew I would enjoy _this_ virgin immensely.

But not yet.

I pushed himself away, hating how it was more difficult than it ought to have been. Kili sighed, still trembling against the wall. I chuckled and held my hand out to Kili.

“Come on, we should get you home before anyone notices we’re gone.”

Kili nodded, taking my hand in his.

#

I joined Borgin and Ulfar in the dining hall the following morning for breakfast.

Borgin sent me scathing looks and Ulfar simply fussed with one of his braids which seemed to not want to braid properly if the way he glared at his reflection had anything to do with it.

I leaned back, staring at the table blankly. I couldn't sleep after Kili left for bed last night.

Chairs scraped on the floor, jolting me out of my reverie to see Thorin striding into the room. I stood, ignoring the dark chuckles of my competitors and we bowed.

“I have spoken with Kili,” Thorin announced, bypassing a greeting. “He will choose one of you tomorrow night. Once he does, I will not tolerate any interference,” he glared at us. “Understood?”

“Yes, your majesty,” we chorused. 

 _This is going to be an awkward few days,_ I thought as I spread jam on a thick slice of bread.

#

Kili was on the archery range when I finally found him. I leaned against a tree and watched. Kili’s bow flew by, embedding in the center of the target. I whistled and Kili pulled another arrow out, aimed at me.

“I see this is going to be a common occurrence,” I said, “Me sneaking up on you and you brandishing a sharp object of some kind at me.” Kili lowered the bow.

“Sorry. I usually practice alone. I didn’t think I’d be found here.”

“Well, it’s not that odd for you to be here," I said, approaching him and flicking his braid. “It’s your profession, after all.”

“As a warrior, yes,” Kili said. “But in times of peace, I’m a jeweler.”

“Hmm. That would put some strain on us, _Sankhajima_ ,” Nori said. “A jeweler and a thief: not the most conventional love story.”

“Like a prince and a thief is any better.”

“True.”

“Do you know about the time frame your uncle gave us?”

“He does,” Kili said. “I want to tell him that I’ve chosen you, but there’s no believable way to do that right now.” I nod. I had to hand it to the kid, he's smarter than he lets on.

“I don’t think the other two like me very much.”

“I don’t care. Borgin’s an ass. He kicked one of our servants because she got in his way while cleaning. And Ulfar’s…well, he’s an idiot. He’s happy so long as he can look at his reflection. Also, he kind of looks like my brother. Too much like him. Nothing could be a bigger turn off.” I barked a laugh, clutching my middle and leaning against a tree. “It’s not funny!" Kili snapped. "Imagine if you had a suitor who looked like your brother and is dumber than a box of nails? Would _that_ sit well with you?”

“No. It would not,” I admitted, wiping tears from my eyes. “What about that third suitor of yours?” I asked, smirking at Kili. “Is he any better?”

“He has a strong chance,” Kili said. “He’s smart, and lively, a bit mischievous, out of this world gorgeous…hell of a kisser. Only thing that could be seen as a real flaw is how grabby he can be.”

“Oh?”

“He groped me a little,” Kili said, grinning. “I was a bit startled, but a repeat wouldn’t be unwelcome.”

“You don’t think he’s a pervert?”

“Who isn’t a little bit?” Kili asked. He aimed his bow, the string pulled tight.

I arched a brow. _Cheeky brat._ The arrow flew, and found its mark. I approached him. “He might take up that offer, then. You have a very cute ass.” I squeezed Kili’s bottom again, earning a gasp and a slap. I laughed, rubbing my stinging cheek.

“Not the time or place!” Kili snapped as I danced away, laughing. Kili huffed and returned to practicing, unaware that I watched from the shadows, leaning against the wall. My cheek burned as I grinned, ignoring the pain in favor of watching my spitfire Sanzeuh.

A hand touched My shoulder and I reached for a knife.

“Sorry to disturb you, Lord Gudrun,” the dam said. “You and the others are called to the dining hall for lunch.” I thanked her and bade her good luck getting Kili to come. I tightened my vambraces, footsteps echoing off the stone.

I didn’t notice the wizard walking beside me until he was.

“Where did you go last night?”

“Out,” I said. “Can’t stay inside all the time.”

“Indeed not. How are things progressing with Kili?”

“Swimmingly, if you must know,” I said. “He recognized me.”

“So it _was_ the two of you I noticed sneaking away last night,” Gandalf said, smiling knowingly at me. I cleared my throat. “What happened to your cheek?”

“Kili is quite assertive,” I sighed, crossing my arms, “When he wants to be.” Gandalf arched a brow. “So I got a bit handsy earlier. In my defense, he did goad me…”

Gandalf sighed. “You’d best not let Thorin or Fili find out about that.”

“I’ll just say that I slipped and bumped the side of my face into a wall or something equally stupid,” I muttered. Two guards bowed to them, opening the doors. My eyes scanned the room, feeling that something was slightly...off. I noticed a shadow in the rafters, hiding behind a pillar.

 _Well that’s odd_ , I thought, frowning.  We bowed to Thorin and his nephews. I took my seat beside Ulfar. Fili still wore that dark glare from the night before. Kili ignored us, waving off Ulfar’s flirting with a contemptuous air.

Borgin and Thorin discussed politics, which I tuned out, opting instead to trying to make Kili break character, earning Fili’s darkest glares while Kili refused to look at me, staring instead at his plate, cheeks tinted pink.

I stopped teasing, noticing the shadow's presence again. A dagger flew in the air, aimed for Fili. I parried it with one of my own blades and both daggers landed on the table, blades stuck in the wood. The permanent glower on Fili’s face had disappeared, leaving a sickly pallor in his cheeks. Thorin bellowed orders at his guards. Kili looked at his brother, then at the knives, and lastly at me.

“Fili!” he shouted. “ _Nadad_ , are you all right?”

Fili nodded, staring at the daggers. “I didn’t see it till now.”

I plucked my own knife from the table, searching the hall and grinding my teeth. Kili’s fear this time was like cold slime: the fear born from surviving a fatal attack. Whoever had attacked them was gone.

I looked at Ulfar and Borgin. Ulfar seemed as stunned as the others. Borgin, though, looked enraged. We locked eyes and Borgin stood, approaching Thorin and Gandalf.

“My liege, perhaps it would be prudent to increase security? The assassin will return and he can be caught then.”

Thorin seemed quite close to murderous. He nodded, motioning to Dwalin.

“Fili! Kili! Go to your rooms.”

No arguments were made, no protests, as the princes were led away. Kili stared at me. I shook my head. I wanted Kili in my arms, and I wanted to comfort him, but that didn’t seem wise given the circumstances. Ulfar left on wobbly legs and Borgin strode in fast angry strides.

I followed him, catching up to Borgin and pinning him against the wall. “It was you,” I snarled. “Why do you want Prince Fili dead?”

“I don’t,” Borgin said.

“Don’t lie to me,” I hissed. “Everyone else is in a panic and _you_ are angry.”

“So are you,” Borgin said. “Who’s to say that you are not the one who hired that assassin? You have no evidence to prove I hired him.” He pushed me off. “You can’t prove that I hired anyone to kill the prince. And you may very well be a suspect yourself.”

“Why would I be suspect when I _saved_ him?”

“A very daring plan to win Prince Kili’s favor, of course,” Borgin said, smirking. “And very risky.” He scoffed. “Enjoy the rest of your day, Gudrun.” I glared at his back, snarling. I turned around, deciding to see if I could sneak into Kili’s room and see if my  _Sankhajima_ was all right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Khuzdul~
> 
> Sankhajima=perfect/true gift
> 
> Nadad=brother


	5. Chapter 5

I have to go around because of the guards keeping watch over Kili’s room. I scale the wall, climbing onto the banister and rap on the glass window. It opens and he steps aside for me, I swing myself in.

Kili embraces me and I pet his hair.

“Nori, what’s going on?”

“I’m looking into it, _Sankhajima_ ,” I tell him.

Kili releases me and sits on the edge of his bed. I sit beside him.

“I have my suspicions, but there isn’t much I can do right now.”

Kili nods, bowing his head. “Who would want my brother dead?”

“This never happened before?” I ask.

He shakes his head.

“Not even on your uncle?”

“I wouldn’t know. Thorin was always insanely protective of us. If someone had tried to assassinate him before, we were never told.” Kili sighed. “Then again, we weren’t even living _here_ at the time. So it’s unlikely. Before we settled in Ered Luin, as children, my uncle would work in the Villages of Men as a blacksmith and my mother was a weaver before she died…”

I arch a brow.

I knew that New Belegost’s prosperity was rather recent—about three decades recent—but it never occurred to me that the king toiled like us lowly peasants. He always seemed so haughty to me. Kili leaned on his knees, hiding his face in his hands and curtained by his hair.

“I wish we never regained our wealth,” he mumbled. I rub his back and press a kiss to his neck. “I want to be with you, _men mizimel_.”

“And I you.”

Kili sits up. “Maybe we can run away. Leave Belegost an Ered Luin. We can go someplace we’ll never be found—”

I shake my head. “As flattered as I am, Love, can you really do that to your brother and uncle? I’ve brothers myself and my…less than savory profession is what keeps food on the table. As much as I shudder to admit it, we have responsibilities here.”

Kili tensed and glared at me.

I drop my hand to my lap.

“Kili, I love you,” I say. “Mahal, are you really so suspicious that you would doubt my intentions and my word? You are my _One_. If I wanted you for your wealth, do you _really_ think I’d bring up that I’m a thief?”

“I don’t know _who_ to trust,” Kili admitted. “It seems like, since I came of age, nearly everyone interested in me were either wanted to have a child by me or my status as a descendant of Durin. Never for who I am and now my uncle’s made me no better than a _breeding_ —”

I hush him, pressing kisses to his cheeks and nose. “I am here because I love you. I am here because I want you, not just to have a child with you and not because of your wealth. Kili, you’re family could still be as poor as they were a few decades ago and I would still want you. You are not my prize, you are not breeding material to me. You are my _Sanzeuh_ and this is just a trial. We’ll be together, _Sankhajima_ ,” I kiss his lips and press my forehead to his. “But let’s consider running away when we have no other option, all right?”

Kili nodded, holding my hand in his. “I’m scared.”

“I know. I won’t let anything happen to you.” I kiss him again and head to the window. Kili grabs my wrist.

“At least leave normally!”

“The guards…”

“Can go shag themselves.”

I laugh. “All right, let’s give them a headache.”

I open the door and we laugh at the befuddled expressions on their faces.

Kili kisses me and then shoves me out the door, closing it. The guards stare at me, still trying to figure out how I got in. I bow, grinning.

“You need more guards on the outside. Anyone could scale the wall.”

The surprise morphs to annoyance and I walk away, still laughing at them.

“I suppose you thought that was terribly clever,” a voice snaps at me.

I certainly did not scream. Nor did I jump out of my skin.

Gandalf leans against the wall, arms crossed. Well: wizard. He can sneak up on me better than anyone. That annoys me.

I cross my arms. “I didn’t do anything forward. We just talked. Can you blame me for being worried about him?”

“And you charade, _Gudrun_?”

“He’s in on it, if that’s what you’re concerned about,” I assure him. “He’s a lot smarter than people give him credit for and I’m not going to lie to him.”

Honestly, that is more than I can say about my past lovers. I never cared whether I lied to them or not. However, this is _Kili_. As much as I love him, I kind of get the feeling he’d kill me if I lied to him.

Gandalf hums. “Very well,” he said. “I was going to tell you to be honest with him, but I am glad that I don’t need to.”

“Do you know anything about the assassin? Has he been found yet?”

Gandalf sighed. “No. He’s likely disappeared by now.”

“He’ll be back,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I suggest keeping an eye on Borgin.”

“Not Ulfar?”

“I’m not sure Ulfar is smart enough to put this together. Nor does he seem beyond wanting more than just arm candy.” Gandalf promises to keep that in mind and we separate.

I head to the gates. I need to let my brothers know I’m all right and that I’ll be gone a while longer. They’ll be upset by that, but there is very little I can do about that.

So, to home and then I’ll come back. It shouldn’t take more than a few hours.

#

They’re still up when I enter our house. Dori is sitting by the hearth with a cup of tea and Ori’s knitting a jumper. I clear my throat and my brothers look up. Ori gets up, jumper abandoned, and embraces me.

“Where have you been?” Dori asked.

“Around,” I said, giving Ori a squeeze. “I can’t stay, but I’ll be back when I can.”

Dori arches a brow. “You’ve never done this before,” he said. “Letting us know you’re alive only to run off again so soon.”

“I know, but my presence is needed elsewhere for a couple more days. I will come home soon after.”

Ori releases me, frowning. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “And why’s your hair different?”

“Is that a _noble’s_ braid!” Dori screeched, getting up. “Nori, what are you doing?!”

I scratch the back of my head. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Impersonating nobility is hard to explain?!”

“When I have more time, I’ll tell you what is going on, but I’m just checking in right now—”

“ _Nori!_ ”

The door broke open and the guards swarmed around us.

Ori was pulled away from me and my hands are bound.

Ulfar walks in as I’m wrestled to my knees.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Dori shouted. “Who are you?”

Ulfar ignores him, glaring at me. “Nori son of Riika, correct?” he asked. “You know, you never gave us _where_ you were from,” he said, squatting in front of me. “The Wizard told the King you hailed from the Iron Hills. Except, _I_ am from there and I know there is no _Lord Gudrun son of Mundri_ on Lord Dain’s council, King of Thieves.”

He nods at the guard. I’m pulled up and dragged out of the house.

#

“There’s really no need to wake them, is there?” I ask the guards. “C’mon, I’m a lowly thief. It can wait till morning— _oof_!”

I get back to my feet and my blood freezes.

“You’re majesty,” Ulfar said, bowing. “May I reintroduce Lord Gudrun to you?”

“I am curious,” Thorin said.

Where is the blasted wizard? Is he ever around when I need him? I square my shoulders and meet him. “I am Nori son of Riika. They call me the King of Thieves.”

He circles around me, his icy stare seeming to strip me down to the bone. “You impersonated nobility to rob me of my nephew?”

“No.”

Thorin narrowed his eyes. “Then you seek to rob me.”

“No.”

“Speak the truth!” Thorin bellowed. “ _Why_ are you here?”

“I am here for my One.”

“And she put you up to this?!”

“ _No_ ,” I shout. “My One is the Prince! We met a few weeks ago. We recognized each other as our other Half. I didn’t know he was your nephew until Dwalin came looking for him. By Mahal’s Hammer, there are _more important_ things to worry about! What about the person trying to kill your _other_ nephew?! Isn’t _that_ more important?!”

Thorin and I glared at each other. “You’re right. It is. And that is why I will postpone your official trial to when the threat to Fili is over. In the meantime, take him to the dungeons.”

“But I can help,” I shout.

“You’ve done enough,” Thorin bellowed, spit flying from his mouth and eyes flashing. His hand caressed the hilt of his sword. “Take him from my sight.”

The guards drag me away. The dungeons are dark. The iron bars strong and there’s a bit of hay for bedding and a bucket for a toilet. It’s disgusting.

After stripping me of my weapons and the beads in my hair and beard, I’m shoved into a cell and the door is locked. I lean against the wall, hiding my face in my hand.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Khuzdul~
> 
> Sankhajima=perfect/true gift
> 
> Men mizimel=my jewel of jewels
> 
> Sanzeuh=One


	6. Chapter 6

It’s cold in the dungeons and we are forced to settle with the hay. It stinks too. Must be from the buckets for our filth. I lean against the wall, whistling quietly. A shadow dances on the wall. Someone’s coming. Well, no point in moving, so I cross my arms and glare at whoever comes near. They’re cloaked, hood pulled up over their face.

“Who are you?” I snarl. “What do you want?”

“Nori, it’s me.”

I get up, approaching the bars. “Kili?” He looks around, checking for guards, before lowering his hood. “Why are you here?”

“I heard you were arrested. The guards won’t let me pay bail.”

“That would be because your uncle threw me in here.”

“How did he even find out?”

“Ulfar.”

Kili blinked. He chuckled. “What? Ulfar’s an idiot, he wouldn’t have…”

“He’s smarter than he looks and acts. And the wizard told everyone I was from the Iron Hills.”

“Which is where he’s from,” Kili said. He pressed his forehead against the bars. “Now do you wish we ran away?”

I shrugged my shoulder. “Kind of.” Kili chuckled. “You know, _Sankhajima_ , that’s not an option anymore. Your uncle knows who I am. If we disappeared, he’d go after us.”

“I know, and I’d try to make him understand but right now is not a good time. He’s furious with Gandalf and he’s furious because of the assassin. It’s just…all around a bad time to reason with him.”

“Is he always so temperamental?”

Kili nodded. “It’s the Durin family’s best trait: our temper.”

“Well, aren’t I in luck, then,” I said, smirking at him. "We’ll figure something out, Kili. He won’t keep me in here forever.”

“No, just long enough to marry me off to one of those _rukhsul_.”

Ah, yes, there is that little issue. I reach through the bars, taking Kili’s hand in mine. I’ve nothing to say that will make any of this better. No one was supposed to find out until after the wedding, but here I am, trapped in a cage and my Sanzeuh always on the other side, seemingly free but just as trapped as I am. The pens we’ve been put in are just different.

I can promise that there’s a solution, that there’s a way out of this, and that we can be free…but really I don’t know if we can.

I kiss Kili’s fingers. At the moment, it’s really the only thing I can do. “I love you, _men zabad_.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Even though it’s true? It’s what you are.”

“I never _wanted_ to be one! I was freer when my uncle was still a blacksmith. _This_ life suffocates me.”

“I know.”

“Then don’t call me ‘ _zabad_ ,’ Nori,” Kili huffed.

I smiled. He had to be so fucking adorable. “All right, I’ll refrain from _that_ title.” I kissed his fingers again. “You should go. People will wonder where you are.” He nodded, giving my hand a squeeze, and, reluctantly, pulled away. He put his hood back on and fled. I watched him leave, leaning against the bars and sighed. I have to get out of here.

#

Another day. Another night.

It’s boring. I wish I at least had a ball to toss about for the sake of entertainment, but at least I’m not being tortured.

Well, at least not yet.

I hear stomping and look up at the cloaked figure.

“Kili?”

“No,” he said, pulling out a ring of keys. “But I’m getting you out of here nonetheless.”

“Why?” I asked. The door opened. “Who are you?”

He lowered his hood for a moment. It’s Fili. He pulled it up again. “Are you coming or not?”

“Why?”

“Gandalf sent me. Look, I know you’re my brother’s One and while I wish you weren’t a thief, I’d rather he be with his One than with Borgin or Ulfar. And the wizard thinks you can use your _talents_ to help us find the assassin or at least find out who hired him.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. “Fine,” I said, getting up. “Let’s go.”

Fili handed me a cloak. I pulled him to a wall. “What are you doing?”

“One came down and two coming up is going to be suspicious. Especially since you have the keys. Really, lad, you didn’t that far ahead, did you?”

“We need to get to Gandalf.”

“We will,” I assured him. “Just not the way you wanted to take.” I found it, pushing the block aside. “Welcome to my world, your highness.” Fili followed me into the dark cavern and I pushed the block back. “Where is Gandalf meeting us?”

“At the Dancing Bear. You know it?”

I smirk. “I know it very well.” I lead him through the cave. “I have to ask, why _did_ you get me out. Can’t have been just because you want me for a brother-in-law.”

“Well, that’s true. You saved my life. I owe you. Other than that I love my brother and I want to see him happy, I don’t have any other reasons.”

I hummed. “You’re sure I make him happy? I’m a thief.”

“Maybe so, but I’ve not seen him happier.”

“Fair enough,” I said.

#

The Dancing Bear was a hole in the wall tavern just off the main road into New Belegost. Most taverns had a small few vicious customers, but the Bear was where most thieves frequented. Or other unsavory characters.

It was quite rowdy tonight. Dwarves and Men sang bawdy tunes, laughing, and pulling their beaus, barmaids, and lads onto their laps. Many were drinking. A few were eating. The tables are scratched and unpolished and the chairs rickety. There’s always a stench of vomit or pee, stale and most unsavory no matter how many times it’s cleaned up.

I suppose that Gandalf may have found the assassin who went after our dear Prince Fili because otherwise I have no idea why the wizard would chose this place to meet. He is in the back of the room, hidden in the shadows, smoking and his face hidden by a cloak. Fili and I joined him.

“Why didn’t you tell me we were going to this den?” Fili hissed.

“Would you have come if I told you where we were going?” Gandalf retorted. “I have found the assassin.” Our crown prince looked murderous. “And I believe we can persuade him to reveal who hired him.

“I’m not paying the man who tried to kill me.”

I elbow him. “You’ve no other choice. He won’t talk if he’s tortured. Ask him how much he was paid to kill you, and give him more for the information on who hired him _and_ to get him off your back.”

“I cannot go around _paying_ criminals.”

“And I said you don’t have a choice. Assassins, murderers, they don’t know honor. Only greed.”

“As if you’re any better?”

“I don’t kill unless I have no other choice,” I hiss. “You have the money, we’re where he is or does his business…”

“And he’s coming to meet us,” Gandalf said. “He’ll be here any minute.”

“You’ll be buying your life back and stopping a traitor,” I say, “It might be one of your brother’s suitors, which adds to the possibility that you’ll also save him from a bad marriage, not just an unwanted one. You want to kill him? Do it later. All right?”

Fili sighed. “No other choice?”

“None.”

He shook his head, scowling. “All right,” he said. “But I don’t like this. It doesn’t feel right.”

“Whether you like it or not or whether it’s honorable or not doesn’t matter,” I tell him, leaning back in my seat. The chair groans under my weight. I scan the tavern, wondering who the assassin was, if I knew him at all. A cloaked Dwarf approached us.

“You wished to see me?”

“We did,” Gandalf said. “You are Hadra son of Grimlis?”

 _Hadra?!_ I really shouldn’t be surprised, but really, _Hadra_ of all the assassins in Ered Luin?! Borgin knows how to pick them. I’ll give him that.

“Aye, and you are?”

“Of no import,” Gandalf said.

“I will know your name, Old Man.”

“He really is unimportant,” I say, lowering my hood. “Hadra Shadowdancer,” I say. He turned to me.

“Nori the King of Thieves.” He chuckled. “I almost didn’t recognize you, mate. Did I ruin a heist of yours the other day?”

“Not really.”

“You cost me a lot of money.”

“We’re willing to pay you more to withdraw your claim on the crown prince’s life _and_ for information about who hired you.”

Hadra scoffed. “Why are you interested, Nori? What do you get out of having the whelp alive? No one likes the Line of Durin much. Oakenshield’s a glorified blacksmith.”

“My interest in keeping the whelp alive is my business,” I say. He understands. I know he understands. “We’re willing to pay you. All you need to do is set the price.”

“Very well. I was paid a thousand _kidhubukun_ to kill him. Meet me here in six hours with three thousand _kidhubukun_ and I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

“Agreed,” I say. Fili punches my arm.

“Are you all in agreement?” Hadra asked, glaring at him. I stomp on Fili’s foot.

“My companion’s a pessimist. That is all. We’ll get you the money.”

He stalked off and Fili grabbed my collar. “Are you mad?!” he hissed.

“You can spare it.”

“Oh, yes, I certainly can, but my uncle will be suspicious. He will notice.”

“If you get caught tell him the truth: you were looking for the bastard who hired the assassin and had to pay a rather hefty price to do it. And that’s it. You don’t have to tell him you helped me out or that you met the Dwarf hired to kill you.”

Fili scowled and released me. “You best stay in hiding for a little while longer. Just for now.”

“Your brother’s supposed to choose his husband tomorrow. I don’t have time.”

“Trust me,” Fili said, “If you want me to trust you. Okay?” I stare at him, trying to discern whether or not he’s telling me the truth. Anyone can lie. And anyone can deceive. Some are just better at it than others. 

I nod. “Very well,” I say. “You’re lucky you’re so honorable. I’d not trust you otherwise.” I stand, fixing my hood over my face. “See you in a few hours.” I stride out of the tavern and lean against the wall, pinching my nose. By Mahal, I hope this works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Khuzdul~
> 
> Rukhsul=offspring of an orc
> 
> Men zabad=my lord
> 
> Kidhubukun=gold coins


	7. Chapter 7

Hadra weighed the bag in his hand. He nodded, tying it to his pockets. “Borgin son of Brond asked me to dispose of the prince.”

“Why?” I asked.

Hadra smirked. “To put the princess on the throne instead.” I grit my teeth at the demeaning title directed toward Kili. “In such a way, he would have direct line to the throne.”

“He’d not be King,” Fili said.

“But he’d be close enough,” Hadra said. He bowed mockingly to Fili, “Enjoy your new life, your highness.” He winked and disappeared into the shadows.

“I’ll kill him,” Fili growled.

“Save that for _after_ we get rid of Borgin,” I say.

“You do know what will happen if we get rid of Borgin,” Fili said, walking beside me. “Ulfar will be the only one eligible to marry Kili.”

And there’s no time to find anything incriminating on him. “We’ll just…we’ll figure something out. He’s smarter than he looks, so there might be something.”

“Can you find it?” Fili asked.

“With so little time left?” I shook my head.” I don’t know.” Fili squeezed my shoulder and I stare at him.

“I will handle Borgin. My uncle will listen to me above Borgin. Believe it or not, he does care about our opinion. He’s just worried about Kili’s refusal to marry.”

“He has a One. Isn’t that enough reason?”

“My uncle doesn’t believe in Ones,” Fili said, sorrow in his voice. “He’s always felt the call, but he never found his One and just passed it off as a myth.”

“Thousands find their Ones daily!”

Fili shook his head. “I wish that were true. Royalty isn’t given the luxury of having Ones, so I guess to him it’s better to believe it’s just a superstition.”

I suppose I can understand that. At the same time, you’d have to be very bitter if you deny that Ones exist. What sort of life has the king led to leave him so cold?

We enter the palace. I pull my cloak over my head to hide my face. Fili introduces me as his new servant and that I have a deformity from birth that I’d rather no one see. The guards respect it and I follow him inside. Fili approached Thorin and bowed.

Also in the room were the two suitors and Gandalf. I do not see Kili and I push down the disappointment I feel when I do not see him.

“My king and uncle, I have discovered the one who tried to kill me.”

Thorin arched a brow at him. “Would this have to do with why three thousand _kidhubukun_ is missing from the vault?”

“I’m afraid so, Uncle,” Fili said. “Forgive me, but the information cost me heavily. However, the price is paid and my endeavor was not fruitless. The one who tried to have me killed was Borgin son of Brond.”

I peered up as far as he could. Thorin stared at Fili as though he couldn’t believe his ears. He turned to the suitor in question, eyes flashing. Ulfar shifted away from him.

“You?”

“My lord,” Borgin said, “Perhaps the assassin lied.”

“I have someone who can vouch that he was no lying,” Fili said, touching my shoulder. I hesitate to lower my hood and Fili whispered in my ear: “I won’t let you go back to prison. Trust me. Please.”

I grind my teeth and lower my hood.

“You!” Borgin sneered. “You trust the word of a thief over mine?!”

“The _thief_ is honorable,” Fili said. “His actions of late—sneaking into the palace and being here disguised as a noble—were the acts of a Dwarf desperate to be with his One. Can any really fault him that?”

Thorin sat on his throne, massaging his temple. “You are certain the thief can vouch the assassin’s word?” he asked. Fili nodded. Thorin turned to me. “Tell me, was he lying when he gave you Lord Borgin’s name?”

“No, your majesty,” I said. “I know the assassin. He and I are sometimes allies. Other times, we’re enemies. We have a pact not to lie to each other. Especially if paid the right price for the information the other wants.”

“And the price was paid?”

“In full,” I said. “For both the information and the prince’s life.” Thorin glared at me. “You have my word I would not lie to you. One king to another.”

“You’re no king.”

“Not all kings live in stone halls and sit on thrones,” I said, smirking at him.

Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. I glance at Borgin. He’s pale, glowering at me, and slowly backing away.

“Seize him,” Thorin snarled, pointing at Borgin.

Borgin turned on his heel and ran for the door. I grabbed a knife from Fili’s belt and threw it. The blade embedded in the in the wood door and Borgin skidded to a halt. The guards grabbed his arms, pinning them behind his back and forcing him to the ground before Thorin.

“You take the word of a thief over mine?!”  he shouted. “My lord, this is _madness_!”

“I take the word of my _nephew_ over yours,” Thorin snarled. “He trusts the word of the thief and the thief has shown more honor this day than you. His eyes do not lie. If you are not guilty, why run?”

“Because—because the evidence piled against me—”

Idiot. If someone is innocent, they’ve a better chance at proving it by staying firm and not trying to run.

Thorin sneered at Borgin, ordering that he be taken to the dungeons to await execution for crimes against the crown.

Once Borgin was gone, I decide to make my leave, heading for the door.

“Wait,” Thorin said. “Tell me the truth: who are you and why have you disguised yourself as a noble.”

I turn back to him. “That depends on whether or not you’re ready to listen to me,” I said.

Thorin leaned back. “I will listen.”

I glance at Fili, who nodded. I began at the day I met Kili, the arrest, leaving the mountain for a short time, meeting Gandalf and becoming Gudrun. He listened, his chin resting on his hand. Gandalf was smiling and Ulfar’s gaze was calculating.

At the end of my story, I wait for their judgment.

Gandalf turned to Thorin. “I understand your desire to marry Kili into a noble house or a royal one,” he said. “However, Thorin, you do not have the right to deny two souls who are meant to complete each other to do so. Neither is it really what is best for Kili who, though it is true he is a bearer, is also a warrior and deserves to be recognized as such. He is also smart, and capable of thinking for himself. Would it really be so bad to let him choose for himself whom to love and marry?”

“He is delusioned by a _Gahyihy Khathuzh Kumathelh_ ,” Thorin said. “A myth. Sanzeuh do not exist.”

There is a flash of pain in the king’s eyes at the admission and I pity him. The king might like to put up an iron wall in front of us and make us think he is made of stone, but beneath it is someone who feels deeply and loves passionately.

Ori had said that sometimes finding your One is like a slap to the face—it kind of was like that for me—but he said that some feel the loss deep in their bones and it shakes them. Being alone terrifies them and sometimes they shut themselves down, try to look as though the world could throw anything at them before they truly broke from the crushing weight.

Thorin must be that kind of Dwarf.

“Do you believe in love, then?” I asked. Thorin looked at me.

“Of course I believe in love,” he said. “Don’t be absurd.”

I want to call him out on his own absurdity, but I don’t.

“Then trust me when I say I love Kili,” I said. “I love him with all my heart. I would not have dared this if I did not think it worth the fight.”

Thorin turned to Ulfar. “What of you?”  he asked. “What has brought you here to vie for my nephew’s hand?”

Ulfar blinked. “My father,” he said, “wished me to marry into the line of Durin. However, Sire, is it really wise to let a thief become your son in law?”

“We do not know the circumstances as of _why_ he’s a thief,” Fili said.

“Well thank you,” I said, bowing to him. “That is because my elder brother’s business struggles and my little brother, until recently, was an apprentice scribe. Had fees to pay, food to buy. We’re not exactly the most well off. I did what I needed to in order to survive.”

Ulfar arched a brow at me and sighed, nodding. He bowed to Thorin. “Perhaps I may suggest: a thief need not steal gold and a king could always have use for someone to gather him information on both his friends and foes. Today’s events have proven that quite efficiently.”

 Gandalf’s brows rose to his hairline and his lips curled into a smile. I stare at him. Aren’t we supposed to be rivals? Ulfar smirked at me and winks. Oh, he is smarter than everyone thought.

“You are suggesting I hire him as a spy?”

“I am, Sire,” Ulfar said. “The Line of Durin has many enemies and some are guised as friends. It would be prudent and wise, for not all favor honorable methods of attack. And I am not one to keep another from their true love.”

Thorin massaged his forehead. He turned to me. “If you accept to be my spymaster, I will allow you to _court_ my nephew. If you wish to call him your husband, you will earn it.”

I almost don’t believe what I’ve heard. But after a moment of shock and confusion, I bow to him. “I accept, your majesty.”

#

I knock on Kili’s door, tugging at the black leather now adorning my body. It’s different from what I’m used to. It hugs and is almost hard to breathe in.

My tunic is made of black cambric cloth covered by a leather jerkin. My forearms are covered by leather vambraces. Do I really need to talk about leather trousers? They can be a tad bit uncomfortable. My hair is back in my preferred style.

Apart from the new clothes, I feel like myself again.

Kili does not answer, and I knock again.

“Usually when someone doesn’t open the door it means they’re not in or they do not want to be disturbed!” he shouted wrenching the door open and glaring at me. The anger he displays dims. And he stares at me. “Nori?”

I smirk. “You missed a lot yesterday.”

“I can tell,” he said, looking over me. “What happened?”

“I may have convinced your uncle to let me court you. If you so desire, _Sankhajima_.”

“But…Ulfar—”

“Has withdrawn. And Borgin is being executed today for attempted murder of your brother.” I fidget with the vambrace. Kili takes my arm in his, adjusting it for me. “May I come in?”

He nods, stepping aside to let me in. “You did it,” he said. “I don’t know how you did it, but thank Mahal you did.” I pull him into a kiss.

“I brought a bead, I said, “If I may braid your hair.”

Kili grinned, grabbing his comb for me. We sat on his bed and I plaited the hair on the right side of his head, the braid around and behind his ear. He examined it, frowning. “This is a courtship braid.”

“Well given who I used to be, your uncle wants me to prove myself. So, courtship rather than marriage. Does that disappoint you?” I ask, trying to keep the hesitation out of my voice. Kili shook his head.

“I had _hoped_ we’d be able to marry, but I guess this is the better option.”

I kiss him. “One day, we _will_ be married, _Sankhajima_ ,” I promise, taking his hand in mine. “Do you trust me?” Kili nodded and kissed me.

A pang hits me when I realize that the pain I felt being separated from Kili might be felt by my brother and Dwalin. I pull away reluctantly.

“What is it?”

“My brother and Dwalin,” I said. “They’re each other’s One.”

Kili pressed his fingers to my lips. “Go tell Dwalin that you’ll allow him to court your brother. Same as my uncle is allowing you to court me.”

“Now?”

“Yes. Now. I’m not going anywhere, _men âzyungel._ ” He kissed me again and gently pushed me back. “ _Go_. Before I kick you out.”

I laugh, kissing him one last time before leaving with a flourished bow. I’ve a Captain to find.

~The End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to make this a series called Sanzeuh Kumathelh. The stories I’m thinking of so far are these:
> 
> Aladdin, Nori/Kili (now finished)  
> Beauty and the Beast, Dwalin/Ori  
> Cinderella, Dori/Balin  
> Sleeping Beauty, Fili/Bofur  
> Snow White, Thorin/Bilbo 
> 
> If you’ve any other fairy tales you’d like to see, let me know and which pairings you’re thinking of


End file.
